Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl. This week’s theme is Bookmarks, but, well. I don’t -use- bookmarks. I either read a book the entire way through, or remember the page number, or just flip the book upside down on my chair or headboard. Sooooooo, inspired by X on Twitter, this week’s post is my Top Ten Bad Bookmarks. (No books were harmed in the making of this post, though I debated it!)
So. Ten Things You Should NOT Use As Bookmarks! (Starring, my To Be Read list.) In no particular order:
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The Cat.
Rating: 2/10. Would Not Recommend. Unpredictable. Prone to getting up and walking away, leaving book un-bookmarked. If cat is still ON book when you want to retrieve it, injury may result. Cat may decide you are done reading before you do. (Book: Waking The Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter A Levine.)
2. Wine.
Rating: 3/10. Would Not Recommend. Useful for drinking WITH some books, but tricky to balance inside book. A nudge would send it rolling away, resulting in an un-bookmarked book and possibly a mess. (Book: Docile by K. M. Szpara.)
3. Fall.
Rating: 5/10. Possible. Only useful a few months out of the year. Careful to find dry leaves. Or, if you’re like me and a windstorm recently TOOK all of your leaves, use fake. Which potentially makes this usable outside of Autumn, but strange. (Book: Fate of the Fallen by Kel Kade.)
4. Minecraft.
Rating: 6/10. Obscures view of game, but effective bookmark. Probably not Best Game Ever, but game that holds my attention. (Book: Best Game Ever by RR Angell.)
5. Car.
Rating: 3/10. Effective, but requires keys. Exposes book to weather. Neighbors look at you weird. Only useful while spouse is home. (Book: A Song For A New Day by Sarah Pinsker.)
6. My (Physical) TBR.
Rating: 2/10. On par with cat. Lengthy bookmarking process, followed by period of angst while looking at gigantic pile of books to read. Do Not Recommend. (Book: America: the Beautiful cookbook.)
7. Curtains.
Rating: 1/10. Requires magic to keep in place. Do Not Recommend. Also inaccurate. This is our first house. (Book: Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo.)
8. Orc.
Rating: 8/10. Best so far. Tricky to find right angle to stand up. Looks like he’s screaming at you for not finishing your book. Recommended. (Book: Isle of Blood and Stone by Makiia Lucier.)
9. Leftover Halloween Candy.
Rating: 7/10. Built-in snacks. Effective until spouse wanders by and eats your bookmark. Recommended if living alone. (Book: The Dragon With a Chocolate Heart by Stephanie Burgis.)
10. Spouse.
Rating: 9/10. Best Bookmark on the list. Responds audibly when wondering where you left your book. Reminds you to get back to reading. Not prone to walking away without notice. Marks off for looking at you weird when asked to put book on head, but ultimately pleased to have Hat. (Book: Winter Tide by Ruthanna Emrys)
Goddess In The Stacks 
Hahaha this is brilliant! That shot of your book wedged in your car really tickled me. Great list!
Thank you! I had a ridiculous amount of fun taking the photos! I briefly thought about driving the car ONTO an open book, but couldn’t make myself do it, lol.
OMG this is hysterical!! Spouse bookmark is the funniest😁
This absolutely the best TTT I’ve read… ever? I love it so much that I’m sort of jealous of it. Also, that looks like a really cute Minecraft house.
*blushes* Thank you!
Superb!!!
had dry autumn leaves on my list, so it was funny to read about why they’re generally not a good bookmark on your list. 🙂
My TTT.
Just have to make sure the candy is wrapped…
Oh god, melted chocolate all over the book noooooooo
Your cat? LOL! My dog does this as well sometimes, though. They’re horrible at letting us read, aren’t they?
So the funniest part about that picture is that I opened the book and put it next to her on the chair and walked away, figuring I’d come back when she moved to lay on it. WHICH SHE NEVER DID. I eventually had to shove the book under her, which she got mad about and stood up for a few minutes before laying back down on it, FINALLY. And then she refused to look at the camera for the longest time, the brat. Incredibly ineffective bookmark!
LOL! I love it!
This is such a fun post! I have definitely used a wrapped chocolate bar at least once. I’m pretty sure my spouse would not be very helpful, as he isn’t a reader and therefore wouldn’t understand the responsibility he has been given.
I love this list! I don’t think I’ve ever used an orc.
Here’s my post this week: https://speedyreadercom.wordpress.com/2019/11/12/ttt-childhood-favorites/
This is SUCH a fun interpretation of the prompt. I didn’t participate because while I use bookmarks, I’m not sure I have “favorites” so I wasn’t sure what to do. This is great! 🙂
LMAO. This was an amazing post that had me laughing out loud the whole time (fortunately I am the only one in the office right now). 10/10 would recommend. 😉
My TTT:
http://megabunnyreads.home.blog/2019/11/12/top-ten-tuesday-harry-potter-and-the-philosophers-stone-edition/
LOLOLOL wow, I love what you did with this topic hahahahahaha. This is great.
Thanks! I had a lot of fun taking the pictures, lol.
I bet, haha 🙂
Oh this is great! Love it!
My TTT